1 month post partum

still got the baby pouch but its slowly going away =) about 10 lbs till im back to pre preggo weight. josh and i have been going on walks up hill every day (didnt get the clear from my dr yet but i havent been over doing it too much i dont think) and weve cut out all junk food, switched things like potato chips to dried banana chips, light mayo, wheat bread and not adding salt even when its called for in recipes. just some small food differences and not over eating as well oooh and loots of water! hopefully ill be back to regular size for one of my best friends wedding in october (im sure i will be =D

CORD FELL OFF AND UPDATES

Public health nurse came today, Ellie is weighing in at 11lb 4oz 23 inches long =D she's doing great. Her cord was hanging by a thread so the nurse just pulled it off and man was i relieved!!! Tonight was her first bath and she loved it soooo much! She's been asleep for a couple hours now but i can tell its a deep sleep. She can go in the water now Im sooo excited. We're planning on going to water safari in a couple weeks and I'll be able to sit in the kiddie pool with her =D
The fair was all week long and we used our carrier...SOOO much easier than a stroller and she loved it and slept in it the whole time. I suggest everyone get a carrier.
Josh has been back to work so it's just been Ellie and I and it's taking some getting used to. He's just sooo supportive and helpful its weird not having him around all day anymore but its also nice having some money again =) OH AND WE GOT A CAR!! Life is going really well right now and we love our baby girl sooo much. Her dedication was last Sunday and it was so beautiful.
sorry this post is so scattered but I'm just trying to add in all the little updates so I can get off here
Goodnight all

Mastitis

Soo last Monday the 18th i went to bed with my boob slightly hurting, i thought maybe ellie needed to eat and they were just full but i wasnt engorged or anything. The next morning i woke up feeling like I had the flu, my whole body ached, and I had a temp of 101 and a red painful spot on my left boob and sure enough was the very beginning of mastitis. I went to the dr that day at 2 and she put me on antibiotics which i will say i only took for 3 days rather than the 7...yes i know they say take the full dose so it doesnt come back, well it gave ellie really bad diarrhea and my dr said it was just the start, i wasnt in excrusiating pain and the clogged milk duct wasnt too clogged yet so hopefully i took enough because as it is ellies been eating less (in my opinion) i dont want her dehydrated. I could have gotten the clogged duct from her eating less that night we cold turkey stopped the nipple shield or from the 2 sizes too small bra i wore the day before who knows but it SUCKED so hopefully it doesnt come back and if it does i have the antibiotics ready =) Good news, ellie went to the mall, church and store, out alll day and she did sooo well I was soo excited

SHE LATCHED

Saturday july 16th we went to a prayer meeting at our church and of course i had the stupid nipple shield in my bag because she was stillll not nursing without it!! well we get home that night and as always ellie is hungry, i reach into my diaper bag and guess what WASNT in there?!?! that friggen nipple shield...i PANICKED!! I picked ellie up and put her to my boob and she tried soo hard to latch but was just upsetting herself more and more because she wasnt used to no nipple shield which in turn upset me and i cried and just broke down because there was no way to get it in the middle of the night. Josh calmed me down and took her and calmed her down and we tried again, she sucked a little then whined sucked a little then whined never fully latching and it was breaking my heart that my poor baby was starving but she finally just fell asleep on my boob...2 hours later she wakes up hungry again so we try again and the whole process all over again she starts screaming and this went on all night long having to calm her down and try over and over but this time i pumped so when we were done trying i gave her a bottle just so she wouldnt starve and finally at 7 in the morning she latched!! and ate for a looong time, through out the next day it was still a little hard to get her to latch but she was doing better and better and now i can breastfeed ANYWHERE without the shield...im not sure why but she still has trouble latching on the right side and wont eat a lot from that side and ever since we quit the nipple shield i feel like she eats less, maybe because she isnt pacifying herslef as much i dont know but she is gaining weight still so i guess at her 2 month check up well see what the dr says

so we skipped right over weening her and just quit cold turkey...hardest night of my life but sooo worth it now

she can roll!!!

ok so this picture was taken at 2 weeks old she was rolling from her back to her side!!! i know its not rolling completely but shes just sooo strong she holds her head up and everything i love it, thats what i get for having a 9 1/2 pounder hehehe its the breast milk and vitamins i swear

newborn photo shoot and others

my friend stephanie did these

i took this hehehe shes so happy in the mornings i dont care what they say theres no way its gas when its in response to my voice lol

and my friend kelsey took these

when does this thing fall off??

Ellie is 3 weeks now2 and STILL has that friggen cord on i just wanna see her cute lil belly button already hehehe everythings going great!! at her 3 week apt (tuesday) she gained 1 lb since her 1 week apt (now putting her at 10 1/2 lbs) and grew an inch! (21 1/2 inches long) so proud of her =D shes awake and much more alert in the day now and breastfeeding is getting  A LOT easier, still a little uncomfortable doing it in public but were getting the hang of it =) im trying to ween (sp?) her off the nipple shield, shell latch without it but then get fussy but were making progress and i just want to be done with the dang thing! That would make public feedings that much easier!!
Her dedication at church will be july 24th =D
thats it for now i guess...ill post her newborn photos and some updates soon

Ellie loving her light up toy

10 days postpartum

weight gain from pregnancy- 48lbs (168)
total weight loss so far-30lbs (138)
left to lose- 18lbs (120)

what im doing to lose the weight- eating healthy and breastfeeding also going on light walks every day =)

no exercising until 6 weeks (so my dr says but i might start at 4 weeks if im in tip top shape i know my limits =D) usual c-section recovery can be 4-8 weeks it depends on the person and i was going on extreme hikes and swimming and exercising right up to the day i had my baby girl

very last belly pictures

38 weeks

39 weeks

had her 2 days after this picture =)

BREAST FEEDING!! latching, nipple shield and public feeding

ok so you know all the movies or experienced moms that make it look soooo easy?? THEY LIEEEE!!

hopefully this will be some encouragement to anyone that wants to quit breastfeeding because there is a beautiful light at the end of this dark tunnel!!! right when you feel like you just cant do it and want to give up, push on cause then it gets sooo much better and easier

the first day my little ellie would NOT latch, maybe tmi but my nipples are just too small, not considered inverted but deff not big at all so that has a looot to do with it, so the first 2 days were sooo discouraging, i was sooo worried my baby girl wasnt getting enough milk or "colostrum" but the nurse informed me that in the first days they mainly just want to suck and dont have much of an appetite and dont need a whole lot to eat so that eased my mind a little. But when she DID latch, she didnt open her mouth wide enough so it hurt sooooo bad and she wasnt getting the full amount that she would be needing very shortly
So...because of my smaller nipples and her lack of opening her mouth enough i needed the nipple shield (a huge discouragement on my pride for breastfeeding) so we tryu the shield and she would NOT take it! (the shield is just a cover that expands your nipple and looks a lot like a bottle nipple you can google it)
after trying over and over with the shield the nurse decided ellie needed to feel like she wasnt doing all that work for nothing so she would latch, so she got a syringe and filled it with glucose water and had a little tube that went into the shield and everytime ellie would suck wed give her a little of the sugar water....still a no go! she did not want it at allll and i broke down and cried, my baby girl is 2 days old and NOT EATING OR LATCHING, well she latched but not well and cause my nipples soooo much pain
so we went home with the syringe and nipple shield hoping to have better luck but all day was just the same struggle! she didnt like the feel of the plasticky-ness (its a lot like a passy) so i pumped 1/2 an ounce of milk into a bottle (afraid my supply would dry up from days of no successful nursing) and then i decided to bottle feed her my breast milk (yes she was only 3 days old but i was desperate and she was cranky and starving)
her drinking from the bottle showed her that the plastic feel of the nipple was ok and would give her food if she would just suck.
IT WORKED the next feeding i put on the nipple shield (withough the syringe) and she latched right on and ate A LOT once she realized it was food lol (she didnt like it at first because it feels nothing like a nipple) I cried i was so happy, when i pumped into the bottle i thought thats what id have to do from now on but she latched and made momma happy.


THAT ISNT THE END!!! so youve gotten your baby to latch and eat and your nipples have become accustomed to the sucking thats GREAT but then you now face feeding in public (my BIGGEST fear: flashing random strangers) i tried the recieving blanket at home, i practiced and practiced it is NOT as easy as all those professional women make it look, just throw a blanket over your shoulder and throw your baby on your boob and vuala youre good....NOT! having to use the nipple shield as well made it just that much more difficult! i didnt wanna go anywhere because it was such a hastle to leave and go into another room to feed and feel left out or not go anywhere until right after a feeding hoping shed sleep the whole time.
finally my mom gave me a nursing cover, one that goes around your arms (still a little difficult id suggest the ones that go around your neck) but it has an opening where you can look down to see what youre doing and adjust or what not, i practiced and practiced at home with that, then FINALLY i did it!!! so then i practiced at my inlaws AND DID IT
So now i have confidence in doing it in public, i havent had to quite yet but i will be going to a bbq tomorrow and i know i will have to breast feed while im there, so public breast feeding HERE I COME!!!

so to all of you wanting to give up because waking up every 2 hours in the middle of the night and being the only one who can feed the baby is just sooo much, or latching seems impossible or public feedings are just so scary ITS DO ABLE DONT GIVE UP!!! sometimes you just have to try a few different things but you will eventually get it, thankfully it only took me about a week and a half to get the public feeding thing and 2 days for the latching, and now that my milk is in, ellies letting me sleep for about 3-4 hours through the night between feedings =D
GOOD LUCK ALL YOU BREAST FEEDING MAMMAS

HI GUYS IM 1 WEEK OLD!!

wednesday june 29th my 1 week old baby girl, so alert and so perfect!!! she lets me sleep and eats about every 2-3 hours through the night and when shes hungry she doesnt cry she grunts and wimpers i love her soooo much!!! shes back to her birth weight at her dr apt which was june 28th shes 20 1/2 inches long and her head shrunk an inch to 13 inches instead of the 14 inches she was born with =) dr says shes perfect and doing great =D

ELLIE IS HERE

on weds june 22nd at 330am i woke up with a sharp pain, went into the bathroom and my water broke! i stood there in shock doing keegles just to make sure it wasnt me peeing LOL then i yelled to josh "uhmmm my water broke!" in turn i get a very sleepy response "for real?" LOL we then call my mom, his mom and the hospital, after my water broke contractions started coming fast and hard, by the time we got to the hospital everything was soaking wet, i just kept leaking, something i didnt realize would happen (you continuously make amniotic fluid) and contractions were regularly 2 minutes apart

they checked me and i was only 3cm still, but by about 730ish i was at 7cm 

stuck at 7cm i kept falling asleep between contractions and they were close and very hard, i could barely talk or move much, i just wanted to sleep. by about 250pm the dr decided i needed pitocin to get me past this 7cm, laboring naturally for 11 hours i needed an extra boost, i was then also given the intrathecal (sp) for pain since i was already drained and pitocin was only going to make these contractions worse. 

by 345 i had the urge to push, nurse checked me and sure enough 10cm so i started pushing, at first it was half sitting half laying, then we tried squatting, then feet up on the bar and so on and so on, 

when dr fraser came in to check me and ellie you could see her hair (not crowning but could still see it) i then continued to push with every ounce in me, shaking from pushing so hard I just wanted my baby girl in my arms

finally after 2 and a half hours of pushing (630pm) the dr informed me that ellies head was stuck behind my pelvic bones and would not be able to make it out vaginally, that i would need a csection

at this point i broke down sobbing, i worked sooo hard allll day long, pushed with all my effort, i researched exactly how id hope things could go, wanting to breast feed immediately, delay cutting the cord, get lots of pictures of her coming out, skin to skin, i wanted it all, also never did i want pitocin or anything like that but she just wasnt coming out the way we would have liked,

so after my little break down, they prepped me, told me everything that was going to happen and at about 7 i was wheeled into the room that i was going to have my baby girl in, and josh was all dressed up like a dr =) 

after getting numbed from my boobs down i went to sleep while they did the csection, i was so exhausted from all that work and then the moment both josh and i were waiting so anxiously for, 

that beautiful sound of her cry and they lifted her up over the curtain and she was the most beautiful chunky little girl i have ever seen!! josh and i both were just so happy and emotional. They quickly took her over, cleaned her up and josh cut her cord.

then they set her on my chest so i gave her a coulpe little kisses and they sent her off with josh while i went into recovery which was supposed to be an hour but ended up only being half hour. 

At 7:31 pm on June 22nd 2011 i had my beautiful 9 lb 7.5 oz 20" long 14' head beautiful baby girl LUELLA ROSE BAILEY 

i was in thee hospital for about 36 hours and then went home, although i was in so much pain, home was the only place i wanted to be and my wonderful mom stayed and cooked and cleaned and helped with ellie soooo much so it was the easiest transition ever!

i start to wonder if maybe I had just progressed to 10cm on my own and not let them give me the pitocin, if my hips would have gradually opened enough for her head to come out, or if i tried just a few more different positions of pushing, to this day i still cry a little thinking about how awful my hospital experience was, the nurses were great but they did nothing for me at all, i went home with no information about anything,

i was prescribed iron pills (i thought it was just common cause i was breast feeding) then find out later that it was cause im anemic and they didnt even tell me! what if i didnt take the iron pills cause i thought it was just for kicks? also they left allll that sticky crap all over my belly which a week and a half later STILL wont come off and my public health nurse came and informed me that they have special stuff to remove it in the hospital and should have done it there. i was told nothing about how to take care of the cord thank God for google and just a few other things but my biggest upset is the csection

why did i cave? why didnt i just stick to what i knew in my heart could happen! every single thing on my birth plan went down the drain, my very first baby is a csection!! will i ever have a natural delivery? will the csection scar hurt next time im pregnant? i SHOULD NOT be here laying in bed with throbbing pains and hurting to walk and feeling pains on my insides! I should be here holding my baby girl with out extra pain, able to move freely without the scare of ripping open! im just so torn, i keep asking myself did i really need a csection? what if this and what if that and then i start getting mad at God wondering why He didnt help me, why He didnt open my pelvic bones enough, why He didnt hear my prayers when i sobbed and sobbed and prayed with all my heart not to have a csection, i was so sure Hed pull through on that prayer that i didnt even research anything on csection! but then i come back to reality and realize its life it sucks but its true and I need to get over it.